I’ve read from a few sources that it takes 30 days to create a habit. Others say it takes 66, while yet others say it takes more than that. 120 days. A year. A lifetime. In the last 30 days, what have I done? I went from not having a job to having a job. Win. I went from yearning over some girl to yearning over her less. Pass. I went from having my novel collect digital dust for over a year to finally brushing it off and writing over 8,000 words. Super win. I went from weighing 171.2 lbs on the 8th of September to weighing 171.4 lbs on the 6th of October. Fail? I’ve been doing hardcore Insanity for the past few weeks, and I feel stronger than I was then. Again, I’m also taking whey protein powder shakes on a daily basis, and it says right on the label that it should not be taken if the goal is weight loss. I wanted to lose 10 lbs a month ago, but now I’m not so sure.

What does all this mean? I don’t know, honestly. The biggest thing that happened to me was finding that IT job. I won’t get paid until the 15th, but my first full check won’t be until November 1st. I really like this job, and I know the pay will be good, and those two things were my biggest worries a month ago. I did not want to go back to a job I hated, especially when the pay was crap. At one paint last week, I was at 169 lbs, so I know my weight isn’t that big of an issue anymore. All I needed to do was start working out again. That was actually a big theme this past month: just starting. Even without a blog or a crisis that prompted it, my biggest issue in terms of productivity and happiness had been starting. It’s so difficult, but I quickly realized that once I started on that first day, the rest of the days gradually became easier.

What do I want for the next 30 days? To not fail. I don’t want to regress on the progress I made this past month. But I also don’t want to live a monotonous life. I could always add new things to do, but I know from experience that that usually hinders my progress rather than helps it. The extra workload burnt me out quicker and the whole system just fell apart. That’s when drinking and being lazy seemed like things I deserved and not the bad signs they really were. Repetition, although fantastic for habits and routines, bores me. Eventually I’m going to get tired of Insanity again, and in my search for something better or different, I’ll allow myself to stop working out. I tell myself I’ll get back on track once I find something new, but when I don’t, I just stop working out. Insanity is tried and tested. I know what I’m getting, and I love how it makes me feel after. Again, it’s just starting. I have to keep pushing myself, though. I have to, for some reason.

Nothing can change. I know that for sure. I’ve built a good foundation here. Now it’s time to add to it. To focus myself on something tangible, I have my three pillars: mind, body, spirit. I can always improve in all three phases. My reading hasn’t been as voracious as I’d like it to be. Goal #1: read more. I can do that, and I have my Kindle loaded with hundreds of good books. Do I want to lose weight or do I want to bulk up? I want to lose body fat and tone up. I need to measure my body fat, but my fat calipers broke. I need to buy a replacement. Goal #2: Measure body fat along with body weight every week to determine if whey protein powder is building muscle while also losing body fat. If not, then I have to reconsider those shakes. The third pillar has always seemed vague to me. A lot can contribute to my spirit. Writing. Working out. Meditating. Last year I read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It became one of my favorite books of all time. But I remember thinking, after I finished reading it, that I wanted to develop my own form of philosophy. A philosophy to live my life with tenets and whatnot to follow. My own man code, per se. That thought always intrigued me. Goal #3: Start building the framework to what my personal philosophy can be.

I’ll see what happens in the next 30 days, but hey, now I have a guide to follow. I’m not sure what my days will look like now, but I always liked finding that out.

This entry will mark the beginning of week five for this blog. That number seems so small, in all honesty. It’s only been a month. Just a month since I was crazy enough to document my life to a very small public. Sometimes I can’t believe people actually read this. On average, each of my entries gets around a dozen unique hits, which is crazy. Writing, like some of you may know, is such a solitary experience. Couple that with the fact that I’m a bachelor who lives alone in a town with very few friends, then maybe you can see how lonely I can get sometimes.

Before I got this new job, I kept telling myself that I needed to move somewhere else. Missoula is about an hour south of where I live. It’s a city. Not populous like Los Angeles, but a city nonetheless. There’s people there. There’s stuff to do there. It seemed like a good option. I also thought about moving back to Los Angeles. I haven’t lived there since I graduated from college, and I’ve been yearning to come back. I’ve been there a few times in the past year, trips that have been amazing and very memorable, but I always had to come back. But I got a good job, and my place, small though it is, is very affordable. I’m near family, and I like it here. It’s become a home for me. I do have to admit, though, that a big reason for my minimalist philosophy has been influenced by my financial situation. That means I haven’t really had the urge or the means to decorate my home and make it my own. Now, though, my mind has been seriously focused on interior design. I’ve been thinking of getting a TV, maybe a PS4 or something. I’ve also been thinking of getting a full size bed to replace the twin size one I’ve been sleeping on for the past two years. I want to spend some time and go through my photo collection, editing my favorites, and framing them. I also want to get a recliner or a couch. My home is so small that all these decisions are sincerely difficult to make. Point is, I’m changing, and that’s good.

My life sucked a month ago. I did not know what I was doing or where I wanted to go. Now my path’s a bit clearer. But it’s only been a month. There’s still a helluva lot of time left to change for the better. And that’s awesome.

I want to be different. Don’t get me wrong, I like who I am most of the time, even though there are things I really want to change about myself. I want to be different in the sense that I’m not like anyone else. I want to be my own man. My own person. I don’t care if I’m some famous guy that a lot of people know or if I die alone. I just want to live life my own way. If I want to keep a blog that I update daily and share that with a small group of friends on Facebook, so be it. If I didn’t, then I’d just be my old self with my old journal writing to no one but myself. There’s nothing at all inherently wrong with that, but I’ve found value in opening up to someone beyond myself.

Isn’t that the role she played? I guess so. I didn’t even think about that. Hmm…

I wish I had more friends here in town. Go out and meet new people! It’s hard. I’ve never been the type of person to go out on my own and just hit it off with random strangers. I’ve never been the type of person to join groups and learn some subject together, like cooking class or martial arts. I’d like to be, but I’m not. Someday? Maybe. And I’ve never been the type of person to go to a damn bar, pick up a chick, and take her home with me. Do you want that? Not really, but I want something.

What do you want?

That’s the question, isn’t it? I don’t know. Five years ago, I made a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 28. Out of the fifteen goals I listed, I can confidently say I’ve accomplished five of them. That’s a 33% success rate, but I haven’t been 28 for half a year yet, so things can still change. I still have time, except, some of those goals are outdated now. And the ones I accomplished where actually kind of easy, in retrospect. Underneath that list are five life goals, four of which relate to writing in some way. The fifth — travel the world — is incorporated into one of the ten goals I’ve failed to accomplish thus far in my 28th year. Is traveling the world something I want? It’ll be fun, but I don’t know how much that’ll actually change me as a person. At least, forever.

At the moment (and for every moment in the past 28 days), all I want is my friend back. I find that sad, honestly. Is it her that you want, or is it the idea of her that you want? I don’t want to live my life alone, even though I said in the beginning that I didn’t care if I died alone. I do care. But that’s just one moment in a finite series of moments that makes up my life. The best moments in my life were shared with someone else, making their best moments intwined with mine. But life keeps flowing forward and we’re pushed along for the ride if we want to or not. So we have to make the best of it, don’t we? Or else I’ll feel like I’m drowning with no one there to save me. I don’t want that.

What else don’t you want? I don’t want to be sad anymore.

I want to write every day and make a living from it. I want to design and build a house. I want to learn more languages and travel the world to meet new people. I want to learn an instrument. I want to be fit, healthy, and strong. I want to read a thousand more books and watch a thousand more movies. Most of all, I want to love with all my heart someone more beautiful than all the things I think I wanted, someone special to share my life with, to start a family with.

She may be gone, but I’m still here. I have to move on now.

I slept in this morning, and I loved every minute of it. Except for the weird dreams. I had some vivid dreams about her. That’s two days this week where she’s invaded my dreams. I’ll admit, though, that I really wanted to contact her today because of those dreams. I didn’t, but a part of me wishes that she comes back into my life soon. She made me happy when we were good, and her laugh’s the most vivid sensation I miss the most. I’m moving on, though. I want to be better than I’ve ever been. That means stronger, smarter, sexier than I’ve ever been. Most of it is for me and my own happiness, but I am human: I want to make her jealous and inflict as much pain as possible through my pursuit toward perfection, unreachable as it may be.

I’ve been feeling cocky recently, and part of it is that a lot of things in my life are clicking. The first two chapters in my novel are done. I know where I’m going, I know what I’m doing, and the whole process is fun and so, so rewarding. I love my car. Even though it only gets 15 MPG on average, which makes me feel a tad guilty every time I drive it, I love the V8 Hemi engine it has, the badass grill on the front that makes me feel like a beast every time I’m on the road, and all the space inside of it, which is excessive yet awesome. It seats eight people comfortably, or can fit most, if not all, of my stuff with the two back seats folded down. I’m enjoying my job, even though I know the next few months will be long and somewhat painful. I have a lot to learn, a lot to do, and more that I don’t even know yet. But it pays amazing, I like the people there so far, and it’s a job I’m actually eager to share to people, especially any new girls I meet.

I went to the movies today in Polson and saw Gone Girl. There was an amazingly gorgeous girl working the concession stand, and for the first time in months, I didn’t feel shy or insecure. I wanted to talk to her, but she was busy, as a lot of people came to see Gone Girl in this small, two-screen theater that seats a fraction compared to an average sized theater in LA (it has just one aisle that runs straight down the middle of the screening room, so there’s no real center seat). I went inside, watched the movie, and decided I was going to talk to her. Unfortunately, her shift must’ve ended because I didn’t see her around anymore. Mind you, the theater’s only run by like three people, so there’s no place she could’ve been. Maybe next time.

My attitude’s improving. You guys may have noticed that entries and entries ago, but it’s really hitting me now. Life isn’t over when someone you love leaves you. As cliché as this is, it’s really a beginning, a fresh start. I went back to basics, and I’m working as hard as I can to keep seeing this through. I wrote, meditated, worked out, and read today. I rewarded myself with a really good movie. I’m ready to move on, and it feels good.

One of my favorite cartoons growing up was Doug. It was one of those shows I would always watch when it was on, and as I’m reflecting on my childhood, one of those shows that shaped who I am today. I loved all the characters, from Doug himself and Quail Man, to Porkchop, Skeeter, Patti, Roger, and even the Beets. But the one thing about that show that I loved the most and that’s obviously influenced me the most is that he kept a journal. The idea of a journal is one of those things that always appealed to me. From junior high and high school, and all the way through college, I tried and failed to keep a journal. I still have many of those false starts, and I sometimes like looking back at them because I tried so hard to make something of it, to explain my thoughts and emotions at that time, but I was not able to be consistent about it. Then April 2009 came.

I was living with my mom then, unemployed, supremely overweight, aimless, depressed, and lost. I read Getting Things Done, and that helped me start getting my life organized. But it wasn’t enough. I needed something more. I’m a writer. That’s what I am, and that’s the one thing I know I can say about myself with confidence. But I wasn’t writing. I graduated college almost a year before, and that was the last time I had written anything. Then I read Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande. It’s one of those books that changed my life completely. The book is about developing writing habits. There’s more than that, obviously, but developing writing habits is what I remember the most and what stuck with me after I read it. She said something about declaring to yourself that you’re going to write at this time every day. There was also a part in there where she said to write right after you wake up because you’re too tired for your brain to tell you to stop. So, every morning at around seven, I would wake up, sit by my computer, and start writing. My goal back then was 1,000 words an entry. It jumped to 2,000 words a day when I wrote every morning and every evening. That didn’t last long. But what I wrote were journal entries. They were all my thoughts, all my emotions, all my dreams and fears, written down in a text file for me to keep forever. I’ve been keeping a near daily journal since then. Over 5 years later.

Doug Funnie would incorporate his imagination into his journal entries, which was one of those things I loved the most about the show. We all daydream (at least I hope so). I do, at least. But I never write those thoughts down in my journal. I wonder if I should. I’m a creative writer, so a lot of those thoughts are incorporated into my fiction. That feels separate from me, somehow. I’ve never considered writing a journal entry with some of the daydreams I had that day. I wonder if that’s even practical to do. I don’t remember all the little thoughts I have like that, and there are some I don’t want to share with anyone. But I miss being a kid sometimes. I’m always so serious. Always feel this need to try and think deeply about things.

I rarely act spontaneously. Maybe I should. Sometimes. Every day at 3:36 PM, maybe.

I made a promise to myself 25 days ago that I was going to write 365 daily entries at least in this blog, regardless of what the future held for me. Obviously I didn’t expect to find a job as quickly as I did (considering I was ready to go back to my old job if nothing fell through), and I especially didn’t consider this new job to be as overwhelming and busy and fun as it has been, but what good’s my word if I can’t even keep it with myself?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m tired. I worked a late shift today. Normally my hours are 8-4, but today I changed them to 12-8. The last tech guy comes in every Thursday or so around 6, so I wanted to meet up with him and get paid to do it. I was being optimistic with my schedule, I guess. We didn’t stop until after 9:30. I didn’t get home until 10. I usually spend the 9-10 hour thinking and writing about this entry. I will admit, though, that the last few days have taken less time than that because I’ve been regurgitating them out so I can get them over and done with and get to sleep as quickly as possible. That’s what I wanted to do tonight. I didn’t want to write this; I wanted to go straight to sleep. But my duty to myself is too strong to let me make life that easy. I have to see this through because I have to see this through.

I have not improved enough in 25 days to quit writing this blog. This blog is supposed to document my journey into becoming someone better than I was 26+ days ago. That’s the simple mission statement. I know if I have one more drink I would lose control. She is still on my mind — hell, I had a sad dream about her last night — so I know if I drink I will try to make contact with her in some way. I can’t. I have to move on. It’s good that it’s been 26+ days since I last communicated with her, but that’s still not enough time. I’m actually very lucky to have found a job that has kept me so busy; I have nothing and no one else to really think about. But I don’t have the strength yet to tell myself I’m better. I don’t know if I’ll ever be better. There’s a “super” Mario version in my head that I want to be so much, but I’ll never become him. I don’t even know if I’ll ever get close to becoming him. But it’s better to be closer to this Mario than the evil Mario I almost succumbed to.

I know I should be proud that I’ve written 25 straight entries, but I’m not. The quality lately isn’t where I would’ve liked them to be. But I have a job, you might say. It’s understandable if I miss just one day. No, it’s not. Not for me. I have to be perfect, and part of that mentality is seeing this through. I know. It’s hell. But it’s my hell, and I’m used to it.

I also like it.

A few weeks ago, my life was slow and predictable. Today, I’m as busy as I’ve ever been. In late August, I bought my 2004 Dodge Durango. She’s a beauty, and she runs great. Except, a few weeks ago, the check engine light came on. After some research, I found out it had something to do with the coolant system. I took her to a local shop, they checked her out, and told me I needed to replace the thermostat. Not only that, they told me I needed to flush my radiator because apparently the thermostat leaked parts into it or something. All told, it was gonna cost me over $400. My dealer told me to wait and not pay for anything yet; he was going to check in with the company handling my four year warranty. After not hearing from him in weeks, I paid him a visit yesterday. He told me he was going to personally fix my car today, and he would pay for half of the repairs. I dropped off my car in the morning, drove his loaner minivan to work, drove the minivan back after work, and stopped by his office. He found nothing wrong with the radiator, but he flushed it anyways. He replaced the thermostat, and all seems well. Oh, he also still had my title in his files. He finally delivered that to City Hall, so I finally registered my car. I chose this awesome centennial edition license plate. It’ll match my USC School of Cinematic Arts Alumni frame, once I buy it.

This week, all the teachers are supposed to be posting their mid term grades, so it’s busy. It’s also Homecoming Week, so everyone’s scrambling to do everything around there. Since the school uses Infinite Campus, there’s going to be many questions and cries for help, which I received a lot of today. The school did not have a regular tech guy for about a year, so the superintendent (my boss) took the reigns and did as much as he could. But he messed up a lot of things. Since learning so much about Infinite Campus the last few days, I’ve been going through how the system has been set up at this school. Teachers had way more rights than they should have had. For example, all teachers had the right to delete students from the system. They also had access to student’s grades and transcripts that weren’t even in their classes. The superintendent gave them this access because he had no idea what he was doing. Some teachers weren’t even assigned to classes, so they’ve been writing everything down by hand, too afraid to ask him for help. Once I came on, though, a flood of questions came in. Some were easy: some teachers are new here (like me), and they didn’t know how to do simple things. I taught them. For others, though, I had to dig deeper into the system and see what the hell was going on. Stuff that should have already been in there wasn’t, so I had to recreate it. Everything seems like a mess, and I can totally foresee myself spending the rest of the year fine-tuning this system. It’ll be worth it in the end, I think.

Finally, I worked out today. I decided to do the 30 day Insanity: the Asylum workout once more. I spent last December doing it, and I’ve never felt or looked better in my life. I’m hoping to get back to that so by November, I could do the hybrid workout. I know what to expect this time around, so I shouldn’t run into any problems. I did notice today, though, how much stronger I felt and performed. My energy was high, my intensity was surprising, and my bounce was springy. There’s this workout where I use the agility ladder to do in and out abs. In the plank position and over the ladder, I jump into the first square with both feet and immediately shoot my feet back and get into the plank position again. We progress from the first to the second to the third box throughout the workout, and when I got to the third box, I noticed how much stronger I felt doing it. My explosiveness was greater, and it really surprised me. Even though I haven’t been working out the past week, I’ve been making shakes with my whey protein powder, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. I think that has made me stronger. It’s an amazing feeling. Also, in the past few weeks, I’ve lost four pounds. Progress.

I don’t have time anymore to think. I miss it, but I like being busy. It’s tough to figure out not only what I want, but also how to set priorities. What’s more important to me? I need to figure that out.

Honestly, I’m tired.

I didn’t work out again, but I kind of let that burden go today. I’ve mentioned before that I was going to do the Insanity/Insanity: the Asylum hybrid workout on the first of October, but I didn’t foresee a few things when I made that declaration. One thing that’s making my fatigue worse after work is that I don’t eat lunch. I haven’t had a chance to come up with a good lunch for me to eat while I’m at work, and I don’t want to eat the lunches school cafeteria provides, for obvious reasons. And, to be frank, for the most part, I’ve been too busy to even think about feeding myself. That’s a good thing, I think.

I’ve never had a job that’s given me so much freedom to do what I want, however I want. I’m the only tech guy at this school, so I’m in charge of everything tech related. That’s both exhilarating and stressful. Even if this is not expected of me, I want to know everything about everything they have and use. They use this service online called Infinite Campus, and I spent most of today (by that I mean a good six to seven hours) learning a lot about it to the point where I have a firm grasp on it. I e-mailed the entire staff and told them so, asking them to contact me if they needed any help. Immediately I received e-mails from a few teachers and staff asking me to do things I had no idea how to do yesterday. But now I do, and it was fun.

One of the bigger projects I’ve been thrust into has been to update all the iPads and iPod touches to iOS 8, configuring all the devices with the required apps and permissions. I’ve never done this, but I quickly learned how to do it. It’s not that difficult. Unfortunately, to do this, we need to use a Mac. I’m an Apple person, so this is awesome, except, remember those vandals? Yeah, they destroyed one of the two MacBook Air’s the school owned. With just one laptop, we tried to use the MacBook (which hasn’t been used in over a year) and install all the updates, to get it ready for when we need to deploy iOS 8 to the iOS devices. I tried to do that but I didn’t have the password for the login. I gave it to one of the teachers, who had a list of usernames and passwords, and apparently, the last tech guy changed these passwords, so no one could get into the laptops. So I was called in. I tried a few passwords, but none of them worked. So while a few teachers were trying to come up with solutions on their own, I rebooted the Mac, logged on to the recovery partition, opened terminal, reset the password to the account, changed the password to the one on the sheet, logged back into the startup drive, logged in with the new password, and dramatically showed the teachers the desktop. It was awesome.

Where am I going with this? I’m not sure. Those were just the highlights from my day. Pretty boring, no? C’est la vie.

I feel like this might be a hard entry for me to write, so I’m just going to go right out and write it. I’m not performing the way I’d like to be. By that I mean, I’m not living up to my made-up standards for living. Ever since the fire, I’ve lost a handle to my life. When I started this blog, I was not a happy person. I had a goal in mind, and that was to be happy, per se. To do that, I had to focus on my habits and routines, and the first thing I knew I needed to do was start working out again. Fitness is life’s easiest form of therapy. I had the adrenaline pumping, and I began to rewrite my novel a week after I started my blog and a week into working out again. And now? Now I’m on day 22, starting my fourth week doing this, and I stopped working out. I even stopped eating very well (I had Subway today… more on that later). What’s happening? Today gave me a clear indication of what might be happening, and how I could remedy it for the future.

It was easier for me to focus fully on myself when I had nothing going on for myself. I started this blog when I had no job, no fire, and no responsibilities. I had a short-term endgame, and I reached it in a few weeks. But then I had the fire, and like I said, it disrupted my life. During the fire, I found out I got my job, so one day I’m out fighting a fire, the very next day I’m starting my new job. I’ve had no time for myself. I just had a two day weekend — my first real weekend in years — and I went shopping the first day, practically buying a whole new wardrobe for and because of my job. Yesterday I slept in, read, watched TV, and relaxed. And today I went right back to work.

Work today was tough. I feel this pressure I’ve personally put on myself to learn the structure of the school, to learn about all the tech they have and become a master in them, and to become acquainted with all the teachers, their schedules, and the whole culture in place here. I want to learn all this quickly so I can perform well quickly, and that’s burning me out. After work, all I wanted to do was buy some beer and relax. But I didn’t. Instead, I bought a Subway Club from Subway. It was good, and it satisfied me, but a hint of guilt nagged at me while I ate it. I could’ve cooked for myself. Hell, I even defrosted some steak for me to cook. But I was tired. I didn’t want to do anything. So I gave in. I didn’t work out. I didn’t do some of the tasks on my todo list. I didn’t take advantage of the time given to me, and because of that, I feel like a failure.

Geeks like to talk about their workflows. How they do certain tasks quickly by using a certain setup of apps and techniques to do what they want without any friction. Frictionless workflows are the longest lasting because they’re easy to implement and maintain. Why would I want to write the same things over and over and over again when I could use a program like TextExpander and write the same things with fewer characters and save a lot more time? I’m in need of a frictionless workflow for my life. There’s things I want to do everyday without fail, and I want to ensure I do them regardless of what happens throughout my day. I still want to work out even though I had a tough day at work. How can I do that? I’m still writing every morning, but I want to spend more time on it and not feel so rushed. How can I do that? There’s so much stuff I want to learn and master, but I don’t seem to have enough time or energy to devote myself to learning what I want. How can I do that?

I need to design a way for me to live the life I want as frictionless as possible, where the things I need to get done are automatic, and every day I improve from the day before. How can I do that? I don’t know, and that’s the beauty of the journey, right? To figure that out.

When I first started to seriously delve into improving myself and my life back in 2009, the first book I read that seriously helped me was Getting Things Done by David Allen. David Allen created an entire system that just made sense to me. The whole system consists of just five steps: Collect, Process, Organize, Review, and Do. The collection phase is where you dump everything that’s on your mind down, wiping it of any nagging little things that have been bothering you. These items are next processed in the second stage. If it takes less than two minutes, do it right then and there. Delegate those tasks you can’t do to other people. The rest of the tasks you will organize into lists. How you do this is up to you. Once everything’s organized, you review your lists. You may have put something into one of your lists six months ago, but without reviewing them, you completely forgot you had that item in there. Finally, you do everything that’s on your lists. Obviously, what’s the point of a todo list if you’re not getting anything done? That’s the GTD system in a nutshell. If you’re curious to learn more, I highly recommend picking up a copy of the book.

The weekly review is something David Allen talks about in depth in the book. Every week, you sit down with your todo list and review it. You process all your inboxes, you dump your head into your lists, you process, you organize, you do. This ensures you trust the system and that it becomes a part of your day-to-day life. For the most part, it has been for mine. I try to do mine every Sunday, but life does get in the way, and I don’t always get the chance to do it. But I just completed my first Weekly Review on the new OmniFocus app for the iPad, and holy shit, the process was so frictionless and fun that I’m definitely reviewing using my iPad from now on. There were items in there I completed days and weeks ago, and I either forgot to cross them off or forgot they were even in there. Most importantly, the weekly review reminds me of what I consider to be priorities in my life.

I briefly talked about the three pillars of what I consider to be a complete human being in day 12: mind, body, and spirit. That is how I have my todo list organized, and that’s how I try to live my days. Now, to be frank, in the past week I haven’t worked out, I didn’t eat healthy on a consistent basis, I haven’t finished reading a book in weeks, and I’ve neglected to meditate on a regular basis. I have written 300+ words every morning for the past fourteen days, I have updated my blog and examined myself as deeply as I can, and I did start a new job that has excited me for my future that no other job ever has. I’ve talked about perfection and how I could be too hard on myself sometimes. A consistent weekly review reminds me to focus on the essentials, to help me hone back into the three pillars, and to help me get back on the path if it seems like I’ve strayed.

I feel like I’ve strayed, and now I need to get back on track.