Mario Villalobos

SiriusXM Is Buying “99% Invisible”

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Reggie Ugwu reporting in the New York Times:

For Mars, 46, giving up his company’s independence is a major professional and philosophical pivot. Joining SiriusXM means leaving Radiotopia — a network of creator-owned podcasts Mars co-founded with the public media company PRX in 2014 — which he has regularly championed in the credits of “99% Invisible” as the home of “the best, most innovative shows in all of podcasting.” Mars said he will give $1 million of the money he is earning from the sale of his company to support the rest of the Radiotopia roster, which includes smaller but well-known podcasts like “Criminal” and “Song Exploder.”

“I’ve been devoted to independent podcasting for a really long time, and I still believe that there’s a role for that in the world,” Mars said. “But my role right now is something different, which is to spend more time on the show and on making things that I love.”

I’ve been a fan of “99% Invisible” for a very long time, so of course I’m happy for Roman Mars and his team, especially after the last year, but part of me worries about the consolidation the podcast industry is experiencing right now. I trust Roman Mars enough to believe he thinks he’s making the absolute best decision for himself and his team, but I don’t know.

With the backing of Stitcher and SiriusXM, Mars said he hoped to continue producing ambitious work — without the strain of handling the financing himself.

“With a bigger company, I can do more things and not be fettered by the small business mentality,” he said. “Hustle less and make more.”

Artists need patrons, but will some part of his soul suffer because of this? Will he still have that fire now that he doesn’t have to worry about money? That’s really hard to say.

I do wish him luck, though, and I’ll keep listening.

  • Notes

After finishing Demon Slayer back in March, I’ve read through all of Jujutsu Kaisen (so good!), The Promised Neverland (much better than the anime), and Chainsaw Man (loved the art style). Today I start Haikyuu!!, and I’m excited.

Mortality

  • Journal

I woke up the other night thinking about my mortality again. I thought briefly of my father and of him lying on his deathbed, of how he’s been gone for almost 13 years, of all the life he has missed since then, of my life he has missed, or my lack of life, in all fairness. I thought about my life and of its ending, of how short it all feels, of how much of it I’ve wasted, of the purpose of it all. I wrote about it in my notebook this morning and had a good dialog with myself about it. I’m trying to get back on the road, but I lost my way a long time ago. It’s going to take some time to find my way again, and that’s okay.

At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. I haven’t felt this aimless and purposeless in a long time. I wanted to move away around this time next year, on the 10th year anniversary of my living in Montana, but I’m afraid because I don’t know what I would do for money or where I would go. I’d be out of debt by then, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’d bury myself in debt again if I do leave. I like my job but I don’t want to do it forever. I’m in my mid-30s now, and the thought of working here for longer than a few years horrifies me.

Is this what I wanted to be doing in my 30s? My 40s? When will it end?

In Why People Photograph, Robert Adams writes:

There is the joy to be found in a landscape experienced with family and friends…To hear one’s name, and the invitation, spoken with the assurance you will together see the same gift—“Look.”

I can’t wait to travel again, to go there, and say look! at everything I see, but I don’t have anyone to share those experiences with, to share those moments of majesty and wonder. I haven’t had anyone in a long time. In my notebook, I wrote all the names of all the people that have come and gone in my life, and I’ve never seen them all written together before. It terrified me. It terrifies me. It makes me dwell on the everlasting forward march of time and how I can’t stop it. One day this will all end, and the question I ask myself is whether it was worth it.

There’s a verse in Breaking Up Slowly, a song on Lana del Rey’s wonderful Chemtrails over the Country Club, that goes: Are these my good years or do I have none? / Are there really good years for everyone? / I don’t wanna live with a life of regret. It’s sung beautifully by Nikki Lane, and these lines have haunted me all day. I don’t wanna live with a life of regret but regret seems to be the only emotion I know how to feel.

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I added my reading page today, but I haven’t added it to any part of my navigation yet. Not sure if I want to, so consider it a “secret” page. I’ll try to keep it updated as I read more books.

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Wow, Nomadland was beautiful. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.

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Mortal Kombat was ridiculous, vulgar, bloody, brutal, extremely violent, and a helluva lot of fun, exactly what one would want in a movie based on an extremely violent, brutal, bloody, vulgar, and ridiculous video game.

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I’ve been looking forward to Nier: Replicant for months, but now that it’s here, I’m hesitant to purchase it because I don’t think I have the time to play it anytime soon. I’m still haunted by Nier: Automata, though, years after finishing it, so maybe I should just go for it?

Three Words

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“Woah woah woah.”

Those were the three words I said as I drove over the train tracks and saw a fox run across in front of me.

Woah #1: Dammit, Fox!

Woah #2: I’m glad I didn’t hit you!

Woah #3: Wait, you were a fox! I love foxes!

A few hours earlier, I saw a pair of deer gamboling across the vast fields lining the road on my way to work. I saw a horse bump its head against another horse, and not far away, a few calves playing with one other near their mom. I saw a hawk fly low across the road right above my car and countless ducks and geese and swans swimming in the reservoir.

Life can be so beautiful sometimes.

Saying Yes to Things

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A few weeks ago, my friend Ginger asked me if I would help her out with something. She was applying to the Northwest Student Exchange, a non-profit student exchange program based in Seattle, WA. Next year, she was hoping to host a teenager from Germany, and while she was filling out her application, she asked me if I would like to be the girl’s academic coordinator. Without really thinking about it, I said sure. “What do I have to do?” I asked. “I’m not sure,” she said. “Okay.”

She put my name and email down, and not long after, I received an email from the NWSE asking me if I would like to apply. I emailed back and said sure. The NWSE representative then sent me the application, I filled it out, and I setup a phone interview for the following week. When the interview came, I talked to the representative and answered questions for about an hour. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the more she told me about the program and the role I played, the more I started to get excited about it. According to their website, “NWSE Area Coordinators love working with youth, believe in the value of international understanding and friendship, enjoy reaching out to others, and are often well connected in their communities.”

Maybe it was the coronavirus or maybe I’m getting soft in my old age or maybe I’m thinking more about my legacy, but working with kids and being around kids has really made me happy lately. Just this morning, my good friend Maddie, a first grader, ran up to me and gave me a hug. Kids around her started saying, “Hi Super Mario!” and I said hi back and joked around with them and made them laugh, and their laughter is just so infectious. Yesterday a young kindergartener showed me a small strand of pink yarn and she said she stole it from a leprechaun. I laughed and said, “I never met a leprechaun hunter before,” and she smiled demurely before running away and rejoining her friends.

The student from Germany will be 16 years old when she flies into Montana later this year. In her application she wrote that one of the reasons why she wanted to come to America was because she wanted to get out of her comfort zone and learn new things. I can relate 100%. I’m eager to meet her and learn from her and teach her and make sure her stay in America can be as good as it can be. If I had said no to this opportunity, if I had said no to Ginger, what would that have meant for me? That I’m a coward? That I’m comfortable with complacency and mediocrity? I don’t want to live like that.

So I’m glad I said yes to this. I’m scared but also excited. Isn’t that one of the best things about life? That feeling of possibility?

  • Notes

Okay, I think my site redesign is done. Phew. That’s more of a statement to myself to stop fiddling with it now and move on. My goal was to have something minimalist, with a focus on typography and photos. As a non-designer, I think I did okay. Now to back away slowly…

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