“Hey coach,” my friend said with a fucking smirk on her face. I was making my way to the main office after fixing a potentially expensive error on one of the school’s servers, so I was feeling both relieved and stressed when I saw her, and I rolled my eyes and smiled. “You’ll do good,” she said, and right on cue, the group of middle school boys began walking down the hall and toward the cafeteria. It was lunch time, but what I needed was an ice cold beer, but seeing these kids again and even my friends was enough of a salve for my frayed nerves.

The night before, the school board hired me to be the assistant middle school football coach. I have never coached anything in my life, but last month I mentioned it somewhat offhandedly that I wanted to coach something during this upcoming school year, and I believe that once I put something out into the Universe, the Universe listens and answers back. I’m now a football coach and first practice is on Monday.

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I believe I’ll have fun. And when the people around me tell me that I’ll do a good job, I have to listen and believe them, right? So let’s go.

A normal day, and considering the craziness of the last week, I’ll take it. Went to work and enjoyed the drive and appreciated the routine and I felt grateful for everything. Sometimes it’s good to lose something to appreciate what I had, and I appreciate what I have, from my car, sure, but also my friends, my family, my job, and the fact that I’m breathing. This breath matters, and so does this one, and I can’t lose sight of how lovely that is.

My car is fixed and back in my possession. Even though the repairs were expensive, I didn’t care. Simply driving it back home brought tears to my eyes. I missed it. I really really missed it.

Spent most of the day glued to my TV and devices while I followed an eventful MLB trade deadline. This isn’t quite the vacation I wanted, but it’s the vacation I have, and I’m spending it how I want: lazily and at home. I should get my car tomorrow, but I’ll believe it once I’m driving it again.

I remember that back in May, I stayed up past midnight so I can see the aurora borealis for the first time in my life. I grabbed my bag with my camera in it, put on my sandals, and hit the road. I had no idea where I was going, but once I was on the road, I remember feeling both excited and free. I could go wherever I want, I remember thinking, and in a way, I did. I went down a road I’d never gone down before, I found a dark and secluded area, I parked my car, and I took some photos of the beautiful night sky.

I miss my car and the freedom and possibilities it gave me. I hope I get it back tomorrow.

Took the weekend off to drown myself in distractions and to try and get to this morning as quickly as possible. I dropped my car off at the shop at 9am, and a little bit after 3pm I received a call from them: my alternator is shot, they won’t have the part until Wednesday, and because of where the alternator is located, they have to remove my AC compressor and drain the coolant, all of which will add to the overall cost of the repair. “Whatever it costs, I’m okay with,” I told them. “Okay, the total cost will be—“ and he rattled off four figures.

I made a soft noise and shrugged it off. I was supposed to take all of next week off from work while I went on my road trip, but this setback convinced me to cancel it. Instead, I’m taking my vacation now while I’m out of a car until at least Wednesday. I’ve been knee-deep in MLB’s trade deadline, and that should keep my mind busy until tomorrow.

Also, my marigolds are thriving, and watching these buds grow and then eventually sprout has been some of the coolest moments I’ve had in a while. My bank account will definitely be poorer soon, but my spirit isn’t and won’t be any time soon.

I slept in because I didn’t get much sleep the night before. Without my car, I stayed in, lazed about, watched some baseball and F1 highlights, read some stuff, played some video games, worked out, and watched the Padres beat the Orioles in a very fun and intense game.

It somewhat hit me today that I’m probably going to cancel my road trip scheduled for the end of next week regardless of what happens to my Jeep when I take it to the shop on Monday, and I’m not going to lie, I’m sad about that. I’m wrestling with this decision and I shouldn’t be because I don’t have all the answers yet. I can only control what I can control, and right now, I’m yearning for distraction until Monday.

Last night, a severe storm with winds that raged up to 109mph hit my corner of Montana, knocking out power and damaging whatever got in its way. I woke up in the middle of the night with no power and the strong winds rattling my doors and windows. If this heatwave wasn’t enough, now we have to worry about hurricane level winds? Jeesh.

I woke up at 1:30am and I wasn’t able to get back to sleep before I had to get going with my day. Fortunately, power returned to my small town, so I was able to stop by my favorite coffee shop before I headed to work. This shop sells some funny stickers, and here are a few I liked that I sent to my friend on Snapchat. Both hit home today.

Admired the reddish skies this morning while I waited for my friend to pick me up before work. According to the weather forecast, today should be the last day temperature gauges hit anything above 90° for the next week, and I welcome any relief from the heat, even if the highs will still be in the 80s. Not having my car has been inconvenient, but relief is only a few days away, and I can’t wait. In the meantime, I’ve been learning more about alternators and enjoying some good baseball games.