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Still laughing at myself over this. I was watching the incredible USC vs LSU football game on Sunday night, and when USC scored their game winning touchdown, I celebrated so hard my watch thought I took a hard fall. 🤣🤣🤣

My first football game is in a few hours, and I am nervous. Should be fun, though!

Game 2 of my first year coaching football season begins later this afternoon, and I am less nervous than I was last week. We had a good week of practice and now it’s time to see what worked and what didn’t work. Let’s go.

I had a lovely lunch with my friend today, and we had these amazing turtles for company the entire time. What a beautiful day.

My beautiful Saturday.

Found this bat hanging outside my window this morning at work.

Yesterday, I changed pipe for the first time, I drove an ATV for the first time, and I got to hang out with some cows for the first time. Now this definitely caps off my pretty good summer.

Yesterday, I went on one last hike before the end of my summer.

My favorite little 3rd grader ran up to me after school and said, “Hi Mario.”

A beautiful morning.

I wasn’t looking forward to returning to work today, but my favorite little 1st grader ran up to me and gave me a big big big hug as soon as she saw me. And now I feel great!

I have to remember that I’m not as young as I used to be. I can’t keep pushing myself so hard and expect to bounce back like I used to. That’s how I hurt myself last time! Slow down and remember that this isn’t a race.

I bought my first capo and tried it out for the first time yesterday. Intellectually I knew what a capo was for, but it wasn’t until I clamped it down and played a few chords that I truly understood what it did. It’s incredible! I’m eager to learn new songs with it now.

I filled seven notebooks in 2020. This week, I scanned and processed them on my computer.

Woke up early to run some errands and was awarded with a beautiful sunrise. I used Apple ProRAW and my god, what an incredible tool to have when I’m out and about with just my iPhone. I was able to bring out the pinks and the shadows in a way I couldn’t before.

My favorite 1st grader ran up to me and gave me a hug. She wore a black jacket, and she placed her arm beside mine and said, “We’re wearing the same color.”

Books and music. What else do I need?

My daily routine, as of today, so I can remember it later:

Like McCarthy, Rooney doesn’t use quotation marks for dialogue. I like that. Simplify the English language to just periods, commas, and question marks, and maybe an exclamation point here and there.

A sketch I did a few years ago. I want to start drawing again, but I keep finding excuses not to. I stopped because I had plateaued and I grew frustrated with each new sketch. Unlike with writing, I always asked myself what to draw, and I just didn’t know. Just draw, I guess.

Finished Normal People by Sally Rooney, and I’m really not one for reviews, but my god, what a well-written and unbelievably beautiful book. It’s one of those rare books that filled me with so much inspiration with each page I read. Highly recommended.

A photo of the big dipper I took with my iPhone. My iPhone. This was my first attempt at astrophotography, and I’m really happy with how it came out. It was freezing out, though, so I didn’t take more. It made the whole world sparkle like diamonds this morning, though.

I wish I was there in person to watch Joe Biden get sworn in as our 46th president of the United States and Kamala Harris as our first woman vice president, but I am so grateful nonetheless. Let’s go, America!

I’ve slept an average of just a few hours every night for the past week because of my noisy neighbors. After talking to them and my landlord on Thursday, things have settled down enough that I slept for almost 9 hours last night. I needed it, and my heart needed it, too:

Caste by Isabel Wilkerson should be required reading for everyone on the planet. The book is endlessly quotable, but this one jives with my current life philosophy:

Made a detour on my way to work today.

Winter vibes.

All bark and no bite makes Mario a nice young man you might want to introduce to your parents one day.

I prefer coffee but creek water works, too, I guess.

I try to be stoic with most things in life, as in, I try to only focus on the things I can actually control, but goddamn, sometimes life just wears me down so much. I was feeling down already this week, but then the universe just piles on more shit and more shit that it feels like the universe is just having a laugh at my expense now.

The best thing about fog is when it lifts.

I’m not allowed to have pets in my apartment, so meet Roscoe, the best and goodest boy there is. He lives in LA with my friends. I hope to see them all again soon.

I played one season of baseball in middle school. I was hit by the pitcher like a dozen times. I had a few bunt singles. I had over 20 steals. I hit an inside the park home run on my last at bat ever. I played football the next year then stopped playing sports. Fun times!

I’ve been vegan going on five years now, but the one exception I make is sushi. There’s something about raw fish that gets me going, you know? To satisfy some of the cravings I get from it, I learned to make vegan sushi, and it’s really hard yet really fun to make.

Summer of 2015. We were staged in a valley a few miles from the fire while we watched the lightning storm roll in and light up the sky. Many fires are started by lightning strikes, and this one was no different. It doesn’t take much to burn thousands of acres.

I decided to fully test out Apple Fitness+ this week. On Monday and Tuesday, I did two 30-minute HIIT workouts and felt great after each one, but today I’m sore as hell. I think today will be a good day to try a yoga session before finishing the week with two more HIIT workouts.

I love HIIT workouts. I love the fast-pace and the buckets of sweat. In school, I ran the 100, 200, and 400-yard dash. I wasn’t the fastest and I didn’t break any records, but I loved it all nonetheless.

September 2017. Fires are sometimes located deep inside the forests and the mountain roads that lead to them are rocky and rough. I drove a Ford F-250 with five other firefighters when I blew this tire and didn’t know it. It was my first flat tire and a good memory.

Don’t mess with the queen.

Through rain or snow, I regularly see this man standing outside our local Walmart holding a sign that simply says, “God Bless.” He doesn’t ask for or accept any money; he simply wants you to know that someone cares.

Selfie before I started the first day of my new (and current) job. This was a whole new outfit I bought and thought I looked pretty good! 😎

On February 13, 2015, I finished transcribing The Great Gatsby by hand. This was one of the most tedious yet rewarding things I’ve ever done.

I love my niece, but she just…

This is a working draft of my planned Apple Fitness+ workout schedule:

I think this was the last family photo where we were all together. It’s been a while.

Viet Thanh Nguyen on page 267 of The Sympathizer:

Earlier today, as I was walking to the main office at school, I saw Zoe, a second grader, with a snow shovel. She was shoveling snow when I asked her, “What are you doing?”

Morning skies are the best skies.

As flawed as this country is (and forever will be), I’m still a pretty proud American. And the kids are truly the future, so let’s take care of them and nourish them and teach them well.

Careful not to stare at the flame too long lest you be caught up in its spell.

Philip Roth, in his introduction to Saul Bellow’s novel Herzog:

I feel sad. I haven’t visited my island since Halloween! I want to get back into it. I miss the mundane tasks! I always felt so comforted doing them.

Breakfast of champions! I really don’t know why I have this picture let alone why I took it. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Baby Mario.

Not the best picture but one that shows one of my favorite memories. A few years ago I was going through Framed Perspective I, learning all I could about perspective, and I got stuck on this one problem. It took me forever to crack the code, but when I did, I felt great!

I caught this snowman after a night out of partying 🥴

A masterpiece.

From a recent walk.

The shadow of a western conifer seed bug looks really cool.

It is very very difficult to quit Amazon. Much more difficult than quitting Google (deleted), Twitter (deleted), Facebook (deactivated), or Instagram (deactivated).

Back when the kids loved to wear masks.

New book! I’ve been slowly weening myself off email over the past few months, from only checking work email at work (sorry boss), and turning off all email notifications from my devices. The world has been more interesting with this small act of defiance.

When you’re reading a book that just shakes you to your core, where your hands are trembling but you can’t wait to turn the page, where you’re reading and you look at the time and 15 minutes have passed, then 30 minutes, then an hour, and you can’t wait to turn the page, when you read a passage that hits your soul and you underline it and you re-read it and re-read it, where you feel so grateful that you’re alive to read these words, to let them infect you and become you—that’s how I feel after reading American Pastoral. I still have one more part to read, but my god.

Happy Sunday!

I’m not really sure what’s going on here…

I’m on my final two weeks of my Apple Fitness+ trial, and here’s my upcoming schedule:

Consistency.

More chalk art. I love this one.

I got my 2nd and final shot of the Pfizer vaccine today!

I loved The Committed by Viet Thanh Nguyen.

Life has been all over the place the last few weeks, but thankfully, things seem to be slowing down. I took this photo of the moon last week, and I wish I could explain why the moon comforts me so much, but I can’t find the words.

Robert Adams in his foreword to Why We Photograph:

Okay, I think my site redesign is done. Phew. That’s more of a statement to myself to stop fiddling with it now and move on. My goal was to have something minimalist, with a focus on typography and photos. As a non-designer, I think I did okay. Now to back away slowly…

Mortal Kombat was ridiculous, vulgar, bloody, brutal, extremely violent, and a helluva lot of fun, exactly what one would want in a movie based on an extremely violent, brutal, bloody, vulgar, and ridiculous video game.

Wow, Nomadland was beautiful. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.

I finally got around to watching Tenet tonight, and… why does my head hurt so much? But also, why do I feel so invigorated?

Sunday.

I dropped my camera on Tuesday, and now it won’t hold any of the settings. Each time I turn it on, it’s reset to factory settings. I took photos yesterday but the date was reset to 1/1/2000, and there were all shot in jpeg. So, unfortunately, I might have to pause my blog for a bit until I figure this out. I might have to buy a new camera, which, cool, but also, not cool. I’m sad about this, honestly.

School has been a mess. The teachers are infuriating, but I’m happy to see the students back. I went home livid and exhausted, and I’ve been questioning my employment status. But I took a look at the shots of the moon I took in the morning, and I felt calm and excited. This new camera has centered me. I love it so much. At least I have this to fall back to when things are tough. What more can I ask for?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse by manipulating someone into doubting their own sanity. It comes from the 1944 film Gaslight where a man psychologically manipulates his wife into believing that she is going insane. I came across it by watching hours of Among Us streams, and I thought it was the perfect word for the reality we are all currently living in.

My town is weird.

It was a beautiful fall day today.

Beautiful sunrise yesterday morning. Also, the iPhone 12 Pro takes beautiful photos.

I am very happy my succulents haven’t died yet. I also love these pots.

I had my very first physical therapy appointment today, and all in all, I’m unimpressed. I think I feel good enough to start working out again which both excites me and terrifies me. My next appointment is in two weeks, but all I could think about is going back outside with my camera.

Did my first intense workout today since hurting my back three weeks ago. I’m finally starting to feel like my old self again. But I know I’m only at the base of the mountain, and I have quite the journey ahead. All I can do is to keep going. So let’s go.

Amazing that I shot this nine days ago, and the weather today was in the low 60s. Montana has the best (as in weirdest) weather, and I love it.

New haul. Excited!

I love it when it rains.

I spent some time tweaking a few aspects of my website that make me love my blog that much more. I wish I knew more about CSS and whatnot, but I’m happy with the result as of today.

Monday:

Good morning!

What a beautiful sunrise this morning.

A very foggy morning.

I love the smell after a night of deep rain. The world feels cleaner, like a shower after a long day of work.

I’ve been iPad-only since I bought the first 9.7” iPad Pro four years ago. The 11” iPad Pro from 2018 has been my main computer for the last two years, and the Magic Keyboard has been nothing but amazing. But goddamn if the new M1 Apple laptops don’t look sexy as hell right now.

I spent more time today tweaking my website. I updated my home page with a brief biography and I love it. The next things on my todo list are to:

It’s snowing. Coming from southern California where the weather was always 70° and sunny, the snow in Montana makes me happy.

Some snow has melted and the weather was a bit warmer. One of the students must’ve made this snowball and set it here on the table. They all leave for Thanksgiving break tomorrow and I will miss them, but I will enjoy my extended weekend, too.

Before I accepted my current job, I didn’t know if I liked kids or not. But now, I can safely say I absolutely adore them. They give out hugs freely and they always want to play games. Such a lovely set of souls.

I’m thankful for silliness.

In On Photography, Susan Sontag wrote:

Went to the park this morning. It was 20°F/-6°C. Met a man who declared his love to the beauty of our town. Sometimes this place isn’t half bad.

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time the last few days learning all I can about web design. From typography and CSS grids, to how Hugo works and how best to use it, I’ve fallen in love with the whole process. I like the idea of openly designing the whole thing, so here we are.

Slept about four hours last night. As I lied in bed, my thoughts wavered between past regrets and future hopes. I have to keep reminding myself that even though my past shaped who I am today, I’m not defined by it. The future is mine, and I just have to seize it.

A few nights ago I slept for only four hours and I spent the next 20 hours awake. I forgot to eat and care for my body. As a result, my body gave up on me yesterday and I had to leave work early because I felt sick. I slept in and took some medicine. Now I feel better.

I feel so much better today. I guess I pushed my body past my limits. I have to remember to rest and to listen to my body.

I don’t do it everyday, but I love photography. I was feeling a bit down today, and a friend texted me randomly and told me to go outside and shoot some photos. That was all I needed. I went outside and took photos of some beautiful ice crystals. I’m glad I have great friends.

Winter is so beautiful. I just wish it wasn’t so cold!

Another winter shot. My aunt says this one reminds her of a crazed insect. Now I can’t unsee it!

“That looks like something living,” a friend of mine told me. What do you see?

I’ve been going through old photographs and getting lost in memories. I remember the sights and sounds and feelings when I took this photograph. I had just bought my first macro lens and it helped me see the world in a whole new way.

I think it might be one of those four hours of sleep kinda night. I saw a few young students yesterday lying together on the grass and telling each other what they saw in the clouds. I remember I used to climb trees. Getting old is awful.

I slept for over nine hours last night, and I’m amazed at how better my days are when I get enough sleep. It started to snow a little bit ago. I miss the summer and its warm days, but I’m stocked on blankets and coffee at home, so I’m ready for a warm and cozy weekend.

I have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow, but this time I’m seeing a new doctor. I hope she can help me.

Today I had one of the absolute best experiences with a doctor in my life. Although she had to cut into me with no anesthetic and I have to be on antibiotics for a week, I’m happy. Finally some good feelings! Here’s a random picture of some beautiful ducks because why not!

I’m writing something that made me go back and look through my old firefighting pictures. This was taken on the Liberty Fire from 2017. Over a million acres burned that year. I loved the long days and steep hikes, the crappy food and good company. I miss those days.

Stuck on a nostalgia trip. This was my first “real” fire. I say “real” because this fire had a real shot of getting out of hand and harming many of us. The fire jumped the line we spent all day building and spread across our only escape route, knocking it out. Once night fell, we were lost. It was blacker than black. All we had was the light of our headlamp and the experience of our crew boss. Every tree looked the same. The floor was covered in tree litter and the slope was steeper than hell. We hiked all night until finally we found the dozer line we carved out earlier in the day. The soft dirt felt amazing. We loaded into our vehicles and many of us, me included, crashed on the way back to camp. If I was a fire virgin before that day, I wasn’t anymore.

When you’re building line, you’re taught to dig as close to the black as possible. The black means the burnt areas on the ground. A burnt area can’t re-burn, so it’s also the place you’re told to go if you need a safe place to go in case the fire rages out of control. You want to “kiss the black” because you want to give an active fire as little fuel as possible. As a wildland firefighter, building line is one of the things you do the most. It’s what helps contain the fire, and it’s what helps end fires.

There’s a yellow pack the veterans make most rookies wear that’s colloquially known as a piss pump. It’s a backpack that’s filled up with about 5-8 gallons of water that’s worn over the regular pack everyone must carry. Connected to it was a long nozzle that, when pumped, sprayed water. The pressure wasn’t great, but it did enough to cool some areas down. Other times we made the rookies carry hoses and fittings and other gear that added extra weight to their pack and thus made the day a bit longer. I was a rookie once, and I went through this. It was fun.

I think the thing I’m most grateful for during my time as a firefighter are all the places and things I got to see.

I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a firefighter, but when I moved to Montana, I was penniless and in debt. I moved to Montana to start over, to reinvent myself, and to grow up. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without that experience. I’m grateful for all of it.

Pixar’s Soul was incredible. A great movie to end the craziness that was 2020.

Ewan McGregor in episode 7 of Long Way Round, after a couple of Russians killed a black bear, skinned it, and took its gallbladder:

I came across this beautiful quote by Seneca: